3 Effective Communication Skills For Marriage
Communication is more than important for a happy marriage. What if I told you communication is the relationship?
Without communication, you wouldn’t have a marriage. It makes sense then to learn effective communication skills for a better marriage.
The first piece of advice is to minimize judgmental statements. Judgments are a common communication barrier in interpersonal relationships. You’re judgmental when you label another person as “stupid”, “uncaring”, or “selfish”. Labeling categorizes, assumes traits, and degrades another person.
Instead of ranting on about how selfish your partner is for not doing something you requested, state what you felt and need in objective terms. Here are three examples of good assertive statements that avoid judgment:
1) “When I come home from work and you don’t hug me, I feel unwanted.”
2) “When we agree to go out for dinner and you don’t call me about being late, I feel frustrated because I’ve looked forward to dinner with you all day.”
3) “I would like you to pick up the kids so I can cook dinner for us. Can you do that? Or do you have another idea to help get our needs met?”
These are much more powerful than a judgmental, “You’re so selfish!”
Another effective communication skill in marriage is to acknowledge you cannot read another’s mind. This goes for communication outside the marriage.
You don’t know your partner’s intentions or motives behind an action. You may think they intended to hurt you, get revenge, or elicit a certain response from you, but this is mind-reading. Talk to your partner to seek clarification and build understanding. Open up communication instead of shutting it down with judgments, mind-reading, and the third tip – destructive conflict.
A third secret of happy marriage communication is to not avoid conflict. One of the greatest myths of happy marriages is the couples do not fight. Quite the opposite. A couple with effective communication know how to fight because disagreements, problems, and tension is inevitable.
What separates happy couples from miserable couples is their communication. Conflict in the later is destructive while the communication in the former is constructive. What matters is how you deal with conflict. Good marital communication means you face an issue up front with compassion for your partner.
Eighteenth century master writer Leo Nikolaevich Tolstoy known for his War and Peace book said, “What counts in making a happy marriage is not so much how compatible you are, but how you deal with incompatibility.” How you do that depends on your ability to effectively communicate using the tips you learned in this article.
Improving Effective Workplace Communication
Taking the time and energy to develop effective communication skills is definitely a rewarding experience if undertaken with full dedication. The benefits of improving your communication skills will be found both at home and in the workplace. A great key to successful and rewarding employment is developing effective communication in the workplace. It helps you get the job, helps you keep the job, and most importantly helps you enjoy the job. Good workplace communication is the difference between awkward water cooler conversations and going out for drinks after work with a new friend, between those people you avoid running into in the halls and someone you have a new story to tell. Great workplace communication means never having to be told something twice, never having to repeat yourself, breezing through that interaction with those troublesome clientele or customers. using Effective communication skills in your workplace may begin you on a path to a better position, better pay, better understanding of co-workers, more contentment in your current work, and it all may begin with a single, simple step.
Improving communication skills is simple, but requires both effort and time. To start with, simply make more eye contact, use good posture, and ask questions. These things can be done right away and can markedly improve your communication. The hallmarks of great communication are much more in depth, and may take practice, studying, or heightened self-awareness to enact. Do not despair, there is hope. Improving communication skills is a gradual process, but one which quickly reaps rewards; other people will notice right away and begin to more positively respond to your improved demeanor and your relationships will thank you. Another positive aspect to developing effective communication skills is the countless situations and opportunities that you will be granted on a daily basis, not only will all of your normal interactions become chances to practice new techniques and learn more, but your improved communication skills will create better relationships that will foster longer interactions that offer more opportunity to practice. It is like a snowball rolling down hill; it picks up mass and speed as it goes, ever growing. Think about it, who are you most likely to look forward to bumping into, working with, or even spending time with after work: the open, and friendly person who listens when you talk, and looks you in the eye; or the person who won’t look at you, mumbles to themselves under their breath, and never takes the time to let you finish a sentence?
Workplace communication makes your job much easier, and sometimes even enjoyable. It is said that there is ‘one of those people’ at every job, but what if there didn’t have to be? You have the power to change anyone into a more competent, enjoyable and helpful co-worker; all that is required of you to re-shape your co-workers is communication skills. Effective communication in the workplace also has considerable benefits for the organization as they see an increased in productivity and efficiency. Taking the time to develop effective communication skills may not be like switching on a light, but it is like rolling a log downhill, once you are started it is not easy to stop, and why would you want to?
Challenges For Effective Communication Skills
Effective communication is an unavoidable and incredibly important component of both a successful career and happy home-life. The development of effective communication skills has been seriously effected over recent years by the increased prevalence of technological advances, the result of which is a decreased level of direct verbal and non-verbal communication between individuals.
Universities and colleges throughout North America are ensuring that their students recognize and understand the importance of communication skills in their future careers and endeavors. In degree programs where communication skills are particularly important, such as teaching or business, schools are inviting communication experts and specialist into the classroom to discuss the techniques that can be used to enhance the public speaking, body language, and active listening skills of current students. These communication consultants are offering specially-designed communication seminars and exercises that seek to make students think hard about the messages they are communicating, intentionally or not, and focus on conveying well-thought messages.
A recent government report expressed concern that the new generation of post-secondary students were suffering from a diminished grasp of vital communication skills, particular verbal communication abilities, due to new technological changes in the communication sphere. The internet, email, and mobile SMS-texting has significantly, and perhaps irreparably, altered the way many people communicate, and has resulted in a decreased need for direct interpersonal communication. This is especially true, the study says, for formal communication situations where professional and articulate message conveyance is paramount. Both the public and private sector fear that today’s younger generation is increasingly ill-equipped to handle face-to-face interpersonal interaction when the time comes in their future careers. This includes future job interviews, as well as workplace interaction with colleagues, clients, and other stakeholders.
The recruitment departments of some international companies, as well as executive hiring services companies, have expressed an increased emphasis on evaluating candidates to ensure they possess an adequate proficiency in interpersonal and workplace communication. These organizations have expressed concerns mirroring those of the government studies, and have said that they have witnessed a deterioration in the communication skills of those individuals who come through their systems.
Effective Interpersonal Communication Skills
The purpose of interpersonal communication is to exchange information between two or more individuals. During this exchange messages are sent from sender to receiver using a variety of communication channels. One academic concept that attempts to explain the human desire to exchange information asserts that individuals seek knowledge about those around them to limit uncertainty about the actions of those people. Interpersonal communication is best achieved when the sender and receiver have both developed effective communication skills.
While interpersonal communication can occur between groups of individuals, it is often academically defined as communicative acts taking place between only a few individuals. Many academics assert that interpersonal communication skills differ from the skills individuals use to interact as a larger group.
A significantly important aspect of interpersonal communication is the context in which the communicative act takes place. The nature and structure of the communication skills used, both verbal and nonverbal, will differ when speaking to a stranger versus speaking to someone that is familiar.
Interpersonal communication can take place in direct channels and in indirect channels. Direct channels are more easily recognized and converted by the sender, leaving less room for ambiguity and misunderstanding. These channels include speaking and writing; these verbal communication types use words and language to transmit information. During most communicative acts the sender is most in control of the message when utilizing direct channels, however this control is maximized when the sender has developed effective communication skills.
Indirect channels typically include forms of nonverbal communication such as eye contact, hand gestures, and general body language. The sender is usually less aware of the signals they are sending with indirect communication, and it can inadvertently blur or indicate the true intention of the senders message.
The development of effective interpersonal communication skills can aid the individual in building trust and stronger bonds with those around them, both at home and in the workplace. Effective communication skills during interpersonal interaction include (not an exhaustive list by any stretch);
- Context recognition (ethics and multicultural).
- Practicing active listening and active observation skills
- Encouragement during constructive criticism
- Asking and answering questions but also not leaving any questions or queries without conclusions where possible
- Ask clarifying questions to fully assess meaning and intended impact
- Monitoring oneself for physical nonverbal motions
- Turn and face the individual you are addressing
To fully optimize the potential of these interpersonal communication skills the individual can undertake training and practice opportunities to develop these vital capabilities.